I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
