how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
