Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
