you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
