I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
