fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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