I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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