Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
