Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
