would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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