The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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