So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
