sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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