Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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