i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
