Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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