i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
