just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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