he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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