Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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