I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Let's get the cat blown out
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize