She said her name was "party"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
