She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
