I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
