Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
