Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
