6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize