Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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