kristin has been a bad kristin
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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