It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
