can u get pink eye on your cock?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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