Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
