would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
