i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
