the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
someone owes me an orgasm
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
