Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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