I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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