Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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