I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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