You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
