so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
be right there i have to get my cape
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I think my moral compass just broke
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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