just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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