OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
