Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
