I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
