"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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