Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
