Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
