he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize