I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
