Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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