i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize