1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
