Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
