This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
