Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
