Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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