i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
