I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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