you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
