In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
