never play flip cup with pint glasses
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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