So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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