It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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