Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
